August 19th, 2011
12:49 PM ET
Last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore” was wack.
Pauly created a new definition for the word “twinning.” Merriam-Webster is going to have to add “scoring with twins” beneath “to bring together in close association” on the pre-existing twinning entry.
On second thought...the original definition might be sufficient.
Mike donned a snazzy pair of Abercrombie & Fitch sweatpants. (Question: What does one do with his or her Abercrombie clothing after being offered money by the company to refrain from wearing it? A. Donate it to charity? B. Publicly destroy it? C. Or just wait for the company’s stock to plummet 9 percent?)
Sammi and Ronnie shared a “romantical” meal together before deciding to re-embark on their ill-fated romance. We know this for two reasons. One, we saw Sammi ask Ron to give her another chance, to which he replied, “We’ll give it a shot.” And two, both parties immediately went home and dressed in black – the official color of funerals.
Vinny and Pauly didn’t even bother asking about the duo’s status. As soon as they saw Ron in his black v-neck, they knew: Conservative Ronnie is back. Pauly briefly considers suicide, but decides to continue playing on his miniature foosball table instead.
Snooki, who appears to be the most monogamous on “Jersey Shore,” gets herself into a little pickle (Snooki does love pickles) when The Situation turns into Snitchuation.
When the news makes it back to Snooks, she freaks out - like any guilty person would. Sorry, girl. I’m not buying it. (Note: I don’t feel bad condemning Snooki because, according to Twitter, she and her man are still going strong. Had they broken up over the incident, I probably would have just let this one lie – pun intended).
After her waiter/hookup buddy sneaks out in the middle of the night, Deena is due for some loving. I wasn't, however, expecting her to find it from Erica, one half of Sitch’s conquest. I’m not sure what was dirtier/funnier: Deena pulling the robbery on Sitch, or watching Erica hop from bed to bed.
It was basically the X-rated version of Goldilocks. The Situation even suggests a title for the film: “Menagerie went awry.” (The joke loses something when you realize that menagerie is actually the practice of keeping animals in captivity. We’ll stick to Goldilocks.)
What did you think of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore”? How do you feel about Ron and Sam getting back together? Do you think Snooki is telling the truth?
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