August 15th, 2011
11:57 AM ET
I’ll go ahead and say it: This was a damn good episode, perhaps even better than last week. Sure, the focus was solely on Vince and Ari, but ultimately they’re the two storylines that drive this show.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, it’s time to dig into the marriage therapy session, drug tests and fake penis installation that made this episode an “Entourage” classic.
After last week’s drug-fueled suicide a la Carl Hertz, Vince’s already damaged public image is now in serious jeopardy.
We find the gang outside the crime scene, where Turtle can’t shake the thought that he saw brains, and how eerily similar they are to spaghetti and meatballs. Meanwhile, the cops want Vince and Turtle to come down to the station to give a statement, which makes everyone nervous. Thankfully, Johnny Drama advises our star to “lawyer up” before talking to the cops.
Down at the precinct, the people still love their boy as a mob assembles outside for Vince, and Shauna is there to protect. Love her or hate her, Debbie Mazar's Shauna has always been one of the better, underused characters of this series – always good for a few zingers and f-bombs to keep the crew in check.
Because there was cocaine found on Hertz’s property, Vince’s PO is going to want to test Vince. But since Vince and Turtle didn’t partake in any of Hertz’s goodies, things should be cool, right? Hold that thought.
Cruising the hills while blasting Talking Heads’ “Girlfriend Is Better," Vince drops a bomb on E…he smoked a doobie. Yeah, I’m not buying his whole “I’m not addicted and had to prove it” logic. Seems, well, bogus.
While E promises he won’t lecture his best friend, he gets kudos for laying down the law in their friendship and business relationship. “I need to know everything that you’re thinking and everything that you’re doing or I’m gone," he tells him, and trust that E means every word of that.
Over in the world of Ari Gold the Heartbreak Kid, things are looking nice and pink in the comfort of Dana Gordon’s bed. Both power players have been ignoring their Blackberries and egos for each other, but of course that can only last for so long. If you really want to test that you’re compatible with someone, why not compare careers and email stats?
In case you’re wondering, in the battle of emails received by a studio exec versus a power agent, Ari won 420 to 132. Both lose when they get the call that their movie star and top client could be in some serious legal trouble if he doesn’t pass his drug test.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Ari is sitting at a therapy session waiting for her husband, and she is not happy. These scenes have always been some of the best in the series and this one didn’t disappoint. After some back and forth over Ari’s commitment to the meeting, he reveals he’s been seeing someone else, which seems to surprise even their therapist. Of course, Ari can’t talk about his success without mocking his wife’s new dating life, which leads her to walk out in the middle of the session.
But don’t worry - Ari Gold has a plan.
Over at the hotel penthouse, the entourage is busy coming up with ways to help Vince pass the drug test. If he fails, Vince could lose his starring role in his latest film, which basically means the test can make or break his career.
The guys are reading marijuana facts out loud as Scott tell us that marijuana stays in your system anywhere from 5-90 days. That then leads us to our line of the night, compliments of Drama: “I can naturally secrete any substance from my body in 36 hours or less.”
Sadly, Drama’s history with passing drug tests to hide his steroid-enhanced dreams of being a high school wrestling champ won’t help Vince, who now only has three hours to find a way to beat the system. Vince heads off to the one guy he knows who can pass a drug test…Billy Walsh.
Yeah, this ought to be good.
One failed therapy session later; Ari is back on the phone with Dana Gordon, who like any good Hollywood baller is just chilling with a sheik. If the show ended today, I’d be happy knowing Ari ended up with Dana Gordon. They’re kind of like the movie biz’s answer to Jay-Z and Beyonce. OK, an overstatement, but you get where I’m going with that.
Over at Billy’s pad, which bears a striking resemblance to the equally-as-free-spirited confines of Atlanta’s historic Land Trust, the rogue director has a fool-proof plan for passing the drug test. Enter the fake penis.
Yes, Billy passed a test using a “device” that releases clean urine. The question is, will it work? Let’s leave it to Billy to answer that: “Fooled a girlfriend of mine with it for a week.” Bring on the cup!
Aside from taking over an hour to “install” and some itching here and there, Vince is convinced his fake member is his last and only hope. As his constant voice of reason, E reminds Vince that it’s better to fail the drug test than to be caught doing your best Dirk Diggler impression.
At Flay’s, poor Ari has gone from loser to comeback lover to loser again. After a rather contentious exchange, Dana Gordon realizes Ari has taken her to eat at the restaurant of the man Mrs. Ari is sleeping with. To make matters worse, in complete violation of the Bro Code, Flay called to let Mrs. Ari in on Ari’s stunt, which leaves his two favorite women hating him even more. It can only get better from here, right?
With nowhere else to turn, Ari heads over to Vince’s where the fellas are nervously awaiting the call from Vince’s lawyer about the drug test. Turns out, the faux member worked like a charm, as Billy said it would.
Cue up Brand Nubian’s “Don’t Let it Go to Your Head” and everyone is happy, knowing Vince (and the series) can move on from this dark place and head back into a blaze of glory. As Vince quips, it’s “Time to get back on top!”
We’re all ready to climb back up there with you, Vince.
What'd you think of last night's episode?
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