August 12th, 2011
10:55 AM ET
Last night, for the first time in four seasons, I fell asleep during “Jersey Shore.”
It wasn’t a bad episode....but it wasn’t a good one, either. “Shore” always loses something without its main character: Seaside Heights.
Hopefully things will pick up the more they take advantage of their new Florence backdrop - language barriers, pizza, etc.
Another thing “Shore’s” Italian edition is missing is a duck phone, but that doesn’t stop Ron from making a phone call to his new back-up girl, Hannah. I’m going to have to take Sammi’s side on this one: Don’t invite your rebound to stay with you in Italy when you’re living with your ex. You’ll be home in, like, 12 episodes. It can wait.
In other news, Pauly debuts a new windbreaker jacket and Deena falls… a lot.
The gang goes to the grocery store to get ready for a Sunday dinner feast, except – shocker – everything is in “another language.” I wonder which one…
When Snooki finally wakes up, in time for dinner, she calls Jionni to say hello. But he’s not thrilled she hasn’t been keeping in touch with him. Between the time change and the fact that Snooki spends more than half her day under the covers, Jionni should be happy she even picked up the phone. The Situation couldn’t have been any creepier when he tried to comfort Snooki/get in her pants.
JWoww, meanwhile, is the most excited about starting work at Marco’s pizzeria.
“When I’m 80 years old and I’m making pizza in my kitchen and I’m teaching my kids how to make pizza and they ask me, ‘Oh, where’d you learn how to make pizza?’ Bitch, I made it in Florence,” she says.
She then heads to the kitchen to grind up coffee beans with some kind of meat tenderizer. “Oh, where’d you learn how to make coffee, JWoww?”
Later, at the club, Ron goes into Miami-mode, getting so drunk he can barely stand on his own. He tells the crew about all the women he was with before crossing the pond, and his plans to fly Hannah out. Naturally, Sammi gets upset, but, surprisingly, handles herself really well.
Across the club, The Situation meets an American girl that everyone calls ugly. Even Sitch gives her a pair of dark glasses to put on when they step outside.
While Sitch gets to know his new friend, Ron and Vinny hop in the love-cuzzi for some male bonding.
The episode ends with some pretty funny “she’s too young for you” jokes – “If she only owns ‘Snow White’ on DVD, she’s too young for you.” Oh, and a very drunk Sammi confessing her love to Ron, but he’s not having it – thank goodness.
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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