July 18th, 2011
11:23 AM ET
Everyone’s got a vice, and for vampires that vice is sweet, sweet fairy blood. The new and improved Eric was not immune to the elixir’s charms. Mix yourself a Fairy Bloody Mary, won’t you, and let’s stumble through this week’s episode.
High on Eau de Claudine, a playful Eric disappeared into the night to parts unknown. With Alcide’s help, Sookie found him the next day frolicking in the local swimming hole/gator smörgåsbord. Once Eric’s immunity to sunlight began to wear off, he was whisked back to the safety of Stackhouse Estates.
It’s also worth mentioning that we (and by “we” I mean “me”) were treated to the first official Alcide disrobing of the season. That’s another great thing about this show: the equal opportunity nudity.
Eric’s whereabouts remained a mystery to Bill. He grilled Pam and voiced his concerns about the necromancers to the increasingly sassy Nan, but both ladies shut him down and chided him over the pressures that came with being king.
Bill continued to stew over Eric’s disappearance during a meet and greet with Caroline, the Bellefleur family matriarch played by the incomparable Katherine Helmond.
Southern grandmothers are always up for a climb up the family tree, and as Bill and Caroline mused over the Bellefleur lineage they made a shocking discovery: Bill was Portia’s great-great-great-great grandfather. Undeterred, Portia insisted on pursuing the relationship. Gross.
Bill’s good run of bad luck continued when Sookie refused to let him look for Eric at her place. He entered anyway, but had a change of heart and didn't go further than the foyer. One thing bothered me – Eric could sense Bill’s presence on the porch, but Bill couldn’t detect Eric’s. What’s up with that?
On the witch front, Marnie finally met the spirit she sought to channel in a dream-journey to 1600s Spain. The spirit turned out to be a young woman who was subjected to a good old-fashioned witch burnin' by the local clergy.
Eager to escape the wrath of Pam, Bon Temps’ version of the Mod Squad – Lafayette, Tara and Jesus – once again appealed to Marnie to help them reverse Eric’s curse. She failed to summon the spirit and the look on Lafayette’s face spoke volumes. I’d like to think it said, “Hooker, Hermione Granger would've wrapped this up faster than you could say, ‘finite incantatem.’”
Later, after the spirit made a sort-of appearance and guided Marnie to the proper spell, the gang met up with Pam who promptly bagged on Marnie’s incantations. This angered the spirit, who led Marnie to cast a rotting spell that caused Pam’s face to melt. It’s so wrong, but I laughed. Poor Pam.
Elsewhere, Jason continued to reluctantly provide his services to the ladies of Hotshot and was successfully able to dissuade young Becky from fulfilling her obligation to her kin. Who knew that Jason Stackhouse would ever become the voice of reason on this show? Anyway, Becky cut him loose and he ran away from Big Mama Kitty Crystal and this hillbilly-tainted storyline as fast as his legs could carry him.
Jessica and Hoyt later found him in a bloody heap on the side of the highway – sexy road kill, if you will – and Jessica gave him her blood to put him on the road to recovery. We’ll have to wait another week to find out if Jason will ascend to the coveted-by-none role of Ghost Daddy or whether we’ll all be spared the curse of the werepanther.
Meanwhile, Tommy sought to reconnect with his mother after Sam declined his offer to scam Maxine out of some valuable property. Melinda told Tommy that she’d left the repugnant Joe Lee, but their happy reunion was short-lived after Joe Lee surprised Tommy and choked him into submission. Melinda’s lie was just a ruse to lure Tommy back to the family so he could pick up where he left off in his role as family breadwinner. In the dictionary under “Ugh,” I’m fairly certain you’ll find a picture of Joe Lee and Melinda Mickens.
Between the brothers, Sam’s luck fared somewhat better in this episode. Eager to grow his relationship with Luna, he showed up at her place unannounced and was surprised to discover that she had a daughter, Emma. She's a full-blooded supe thanks to her werewolf father. Luna told Sam that the yet-to-be-identified bad boy was the jealous type but an utterly devoted father, so expect some snarly, hairy hijinks for Sam in future episodes.
Lastly, we finally made some progress with Mikey, the adorable hellspawn of Rene and Arlene. When step-dad Terry left the baby with a sleeping Arlene to tend to some laundry, he was shocked to find "BABY not yours" scrawled on the wall in red marker when he returned to the room. Hysteria ensued while Mikey giggled and continued chewing on the marker. Love it. Sure this show is corny, but it’s the good kind of corn, like kettle corn or corn fritters.
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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