'Bachelorette' returns with more drunken goodness
May 24th, 2011
11:30 AM ET

'Bachelorette' returns with more drunken goodness

Last night's season premiere of "The Bachelorette" began by reminding us that Ashley Hebert could have won Brad Womack's heart earlier this year on "The Bachelor," but failed to do so.

Ashley informed us that as "The Bachelorette," she's learned from her mistakes and is ready to make things right. And since she goes to dental school in Philadelphia, making things right apparently involves mimicking the "Rocky" pose, which may be city law.

Chris Harrison welcomed us back to the manor for the new season with, as always, a look at some of Ashley's suitors. (At least two of them expressed hope that this year's "Bachelorette" was last year's "Bachelor" winner, Emily Maynard. Well, she appears to be single again...)

After a quick break, Ashley joined Chris at the manor. The new "Bachelorette" said she's ready to fall in love, but added that she's nervous there may be suitors who are on the show for the wrong reasons.

Chris looked intrigued, and asked Ashley to clarify. Ashley revealed that another contestant from her "Bachelor" season (whose name was not revealed) warned her about a divorced dad from Salt Lake City named Bentley, saying he was on the show to promote his new business. Chris, looking shocked that Ashley came so prepared, asked how she and the former competitor knew about Bentley. It turns out the ex-contestant knows Bentley's ex-wife. Small world.

Then it was time for the men to arrive. The first was Ryan P., a solar company executive who said he's looking for something more powerful than the sun. Global warming, perhaps?

Mickey the chef said he had a gift from "all the men in America." When Chantal made a similar offer to Brad Womack on "The Bachelor," Brad got slapped in the face. Thankfully, Mickey just kissed the girl.

Ames presented Ashley with ballet tickets. I should note that Ames went to three Ivy League schools, traveled to 70 countries and ran 39 marathons. He must have taken a wrong turn on his way to the "Jeopardy!" tryout.

We then met Jeff, or, as he will now be called, "The Phantom of the Bachelorette." Why? Well, he stepped out of the limo wearing a mask covering much of his face. His philosophy was that he wanted to "take his face out of the game" and let Ashley learn what's on the inside. Frankly, he looked like the love child of The Lone Ranger and pro wrestler "Hurricane" Helms.

Eventually, Ashley came face-to-face with Bentley, who looked like he had shoulder pads lined inside his suit jacket. He mumbled something to Ashley and went inside.

In total, there were 25 suitors looking to win Ashley's heart, and all of them forgot to pack a razor. Seriously, whatever happened to facial grooming? Even Phantom had a strong five o'clock shadow.

We went down to 24 suitors rather quickly thanks to Tim, a liquor distributor who apparently decided to test his products a little too much that night. After threatening to rip Phantom's mask off, Tim eventually fell asleep on a couch near the pool. Ashley declared him out of the competition and got a few of the suitors to place him in a car so he could be driven home. Surprisingly, the show didn't promote the fact that Phantom won the quickest feud in "Bachelorette" history.

Ashley later met with Matt Colombo, who whipped out a cell phone to call his mother and have her chat with Ashley. Didn't Justin Rego leave last year's "Bachelorette" for, among other things, using a cell phone? Anyway, Matt's mom warned Ashley to use protection. Perhaps Mom should focus on helping Matt's brother, who plays for the Dallas Cowboys, stop Tyron Smith from taking his starting job this fall.

But back to Phantom, who told Ashley that wearing the mask proves that he has all the confidence in the world. Ashley then declared the mask to not be a "cheesy gimmick." It was that precise moment when my head started hurting.

Ashley then spent some time with Bentley, who mumbled something about being ready to tackle the dating pool again. Was Ashley warned about him because he's a bit of a snore? After all that, Ryan the solar company executive received the first impression rose, earning him a spot for next week.

Six other suitors joined Tim in "elimination central." Among those gone are Anthony, a New Jersey butcher who went to the manor sans necktie; Frank and Jon, two guys who carried Ashley around like a sack of potatoes when they first met her; and Chris M., this season's resident Canadian.

What did you think of last night's "Bachelorette" premiere?


soundoff (34 Responses)
  1. Ben Dover

    How can you people watch this trash.

    June 6, 2011 at 9:44 pm | Report abuse |
  2. jan

    Who cares if a guy came on this show for exposure. So did she. That's what TV *IS* - a forum for people who want to get exposure.

    June 4, 2011 at 9:39 am | Report abuse |
  3. itsmeagain

    I cant believe this show is still on the air.........this is the most stupid reality show on tv........its all staged for the viewers entertainment......get real people....nobody falls in love like that!

    May 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Andi

    You know what? She epitomizes why I may not watch this season. Why would you pick a guy who someone warned you was just on the show for exposure? Dumb azz. Want's the bad boy eh? Well your fault if he hurts you which from the previews looks like what is going to happen. I liked Ryan P. from the beginning for her, but I bet he's just too nice huh? Get out of here Ashley.

    May 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm | Report abuse |
  5. gaymen

    THESE GUYS ARE ALL GAY! GAYS! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE GET THAT, CLOSET GAYS, WHO ENJOY HANGING OUT WITH LARGE GROUPS OF MEN, HMMMMM, WHY DON'T WE CALL THIS SHOW "COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ALREADY 'ETTE"

    May 25, 2011 at 11:11 am | Report abuse |
  6. Tracy

    Oops....make that CACKLING. Sorry.

    May 25, 2011 at 11:05 am | Report abuse |
  7. Tracy

    Ashley is a cakling troll.

    May 25, 2011 at 11:04 am | Report abuse |
  8. maryjose25

    Having gone through it herself in season six, this puts her in a more understanding role as she has the opportunity this time around to make the difficult decisions. http://bit.ly/l1jWeH

    May 25, 2011 at 7:05 am | Report abuse |
  9. Lu Bonit

    Why does this show still exist? Same ole dumb song. The pattern is the same, time and time again, from the moment they pick the guy or gal that barely stood out from the previous show, to the host saying "you have the last rose" OMG corny!!! The only thing good in the show are the locations, so I'd rather see "The Amazing Race".

    May 24, 2011 at 11:57 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Mary B

    Anyone remember the weatherman from Ali season? I was watching the price is right that aired May 12, 2011 and I swear I saw Johnaton, I believe a friend of his won the showcase, at the end of the show the group of her friends came up on stage, and I thought hey that guy looks familar and it hit me unless he has a double...................lol

    May 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm | Report abuse |
  11. LELE

    Ashley is cute and funny....man will be lucky to have her.

    May 24, 2011 at 9:43 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Rich Black

    Great picture above except for one thing. Lose the girl and let the men have some fun together..... :)

    May 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Wes

    Have any of you seen the Bachelorguinette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUIjxwr5Wvs

    May 24, 2011 at 7:33 pm | Report abuse |
  14. @N

    she is a freak & the 1s who say how she is so great are also freaks.if she is so attractive she cud look for love in the real world,not weird t.v. world.

    May 24, 2011 at 6:17 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Barney

    I like this tvs shows, my mom won't let me watch them but I watch on my computer. She doesn't know. They make me laugh and I fart a little. I told the boys at my school and they laugh at me. I don't like it but I have more friends than them anyway.

    May 24, 2011 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
  16. Lady C

    I love the bachelor and bachelorette it is a good show I hope Ashley finds what she's looking for. I'm just curious out of all the seasons of both shows why has there never been an African American bachelor or bachelorette. There are plenty of successful beautiful black people in the world, what’s up with that.

    May 24, 2011 at 3:49 pm | Report abuse |
    • Nubby

      What she said!!!! Funny, we had a black President before having a Black Bachelor. No rose for us.

      May 24, 2011 at 8:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • Marketing 101

      Because it would be hard to get sponsors, get the welfare checks re-routed, have room in the mansion for the "posse" and bleeping out foul language is expensive from a technical standpoint. Plus the prison demographic is not a highly sought-after group for most advertisers.

      May 27, 2011 at 3:32 pm | Report abuse |
  17. Robin

    I thought William was the best of the 25. He's gorgeous and funny. I loved it when they showed him at the end of the show immitating the drunk. From future shows, it appears Ashley keeps Bently around and then "is heart broken". Well, you were warned so suck it up, Ashley. Pick William!!!!

    May 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm | Report abuse |
    • Bruno

      I agree that William was the best catch – that's probably why he won't be on the show long. He's too normal and exciting.

      May 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm | Report abuse |
  18. lesley

    Ashley's dress was pretty, but she is so fake. I live in Philly, and we aren't to proud of the bimbo wannbe

    May 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm | Report abuse |
  19. Sheryl

    Don't waste your time posting a comment. It will probably never be printed.

    May 24, 2011 at 3:25 pm | Report abuse |
  20. Lis Lis

    Ummm, the bachelors have been on the website for some time now, so it wasn't hard for someone who had ties to both the show and an upcoming wierdo to take a look and get a warning to Ashley....mother always said....when you ASSuME, you make an ass out of u and me....nice one Glorie

    May 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm | Report abuse |
    • uonetoo

      But the show is already over so this person would have had to tell her months ago. Got it? Good!

      May 27, 2011 at 3:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • It is you who is the...

      Lis Lis, maybe it is you who does not understand that by the time the show airs they have already completed filming. So even if the website showed the bachelors I would doubt it was a couple of months + ago which is how long ago filming began. Why so mean-spirited? It makes you look foolish when you are actually wrong! LOL

      May 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm | Report abuse |
  21. GooberJuice

    Looks like a goober gobblin good time.

    May 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm | Report abuse |
  22. Diana

    Found it odd, the snoozer was snoring so evenly and his mouth didn't open once? (Sound effects at its best)

    May 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm | Report abuse |
  23. Glorie

    I like Ashley. This show is stating this is the first time they are together. I do not buy that. Ashsley stated 3 days ago she got a warning about Benley. Why would the men who left have felt any emotion from just meeting her and now leaving.? It is a con job. I do not plan to watch this show anymore. Too many are acting out paerts. Emily was a major actress. Snug and very controlling. I do not think she could be happy with anyone. Such an egotis...

    May 24, 2011 at 1:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • Just Me

      If you re-read the paragraph "Ashley revealed that another contestant from her "Bachelor" season" you will see the person who reveled this information was from tehe BACHELOR session not the current BACHELORETTE session.

      May 24, 2011 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
  24. Bob

    I thought it was a real snoozer. Love Ashley, but man did she get duds for her 25, or what?! The first impression rose went to the guy from Odessa, by the way. This story gets that wrong. He is an oilfield equipment salesman, in case anyone cares.
    I don't know if we can bear to watch this season. It's just too lame. Sorry Ashley, think you're great. Your stable of men to choose from? Iffy at best.

    May 24, 2011 at 12:13 pm | Report abuse |
    • FresnoGal

      The first impression rose did go to Ryan, the solar company owner. But I agree that most of these guys don't seem too exciting.

      May 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm | Report abuse |
  25. Nubby

    Uh, thanks.

    May 24, 2011 at 8:53 pm | Report abuse |
  26. L

    why do you have to put spoilers up? If we wanted to know, we would go find it. But you go ahead and ruin it for others. Thanks.

    May 25, 2011 at 11:29 am | Report abuse |

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