April 25th, 2011
05:11 PM ET
Even with her chart-topping records, scores of little monsters, concerts at renowned venues like Madison Square Garden and an HBO documentary to capture it, Lady Gaga says she still has moments where she feels “like a loser.”
The "Born This Way" singer breaks down in tears in a teaser for HBO’s behind-the-scenes look at her Monster Ball tour stop at Madison Square Garden, explaining that she gets so “revved up” before huge shows like that one that it sometimes puts her in a bad mood.
“I start to think about all the people that tried to stop me…and I start to think about how I don’t really give a [expletive] if people don’t understand what I do, as long as my fans understand,” she says before starting to cry.
“I just sometimes feel like a loser still, you know,” Gaga admits. “It’s crazy because we’re at the Garden but I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school. And I just gotta pick myself up, and tell myself I’m a superstar every morning so I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be.”
She just wants "to be queen for them,” she says at one point, “and sometimes I don’t feel like one.”
And although the 25-year-old pop star says she feels like there are those who are out to "destroy" her, she adds that such a thing couldn't happen.
“I can not be destroyed and I will not be destroyed and you will not destroy the kingdom that is my fans,” Gaga says. “I’m fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel. It hurts when I know how much authenticity and genuine blood is in my spirit, and how much I feel like people don’t know that because they see wigs and lipstick and they just shut down because they don’t understand.”
HBO’s “Lady Gaga Presents the Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden” debuts on Saturday, May 7 at 9 p.m. ET.
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