Charlie Sheen brought his tiger blood to our nation's capitol on Tuesday, hosting his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" show at DAR Constitution Hall.
This registered national historic landmark has hosted everyone from Aerosmith to the Austrian Vienna Boys Choir – and now has provided a stage for America's favorite (?) warlock.
Sheen did recognize the venue in his own way, saying, "This place has some [expletive] history. I've got some [expletive] history, too," before asking the crowd, "Mind if I smoke?"
The former “Two and a Half Men” star was actually late to his D.C. party because of a court appearance that had him in L.A. that morning. About 30 people - media and fans - waited at the Constitution Hall driveway hoping to catch a quick soundbite or a glimpse of Sheen as he walked in. At 8:35 p.m. we heard sirens coming down the street and I turned to my photographer and said, "Don't tell me he has a police escort..."
That's when it became clear – never underestimate the power of Charlie Sheen.
The police car pulled into the driveway and Sheen soon stepped out of an SUV and walked over. For the fans, it meant a moment to tell Sheen just how much they love him. Someone gave him a stuffed tiger – allegedly from the National Zoo - while another fan offered him a lighter for his cigarette.
Asked about his custody case, Sheen said, "I'm not allowed to talk about it, but what have you read?" Regarding the status of his show and legal battle with Warner Bros., he got in a dig at his ex-wife and said, "I was about to make a phone call and see how that thing went today. I just landed, got a police escort from the airport. We ran more red lights than Brooke Mueller going to a pawn shop."
Sheen took the stage around 9:05 p.m., wearing a red Washington Nationals jersey with Wild Thing's number 99 and the name "Vaughn" on the back (if you don't know the reference...well, I can't help you. Google "Major League").
Accompanied on stage by a guy playing Wayne's World-esque guitar riffs, Sheen told the audience about his court appearance earlier in the day. "I'm not supposed to talk about what happened," Sheen said, "so I won't talk about it specifically but it did feel a little bit like Detroit a couple of weeks ago."
The overall format was just Sheen and guitar-riff guy; in the first half of the show they were joined by Tommy Griffiths, local morning drive DJ for BIG 100.3. Griffiths talked to the actor in an interview-style, and because it was Washington, current affairs were on the docket.
Sheen didn't seem to even be aware of incidents where Air Traffic Control officers have fallen asleep on the job. When asked what he would do with Moammar Gadhafi, Sheen said he would make him marry [ex-wives] Brooke and Denise. When asked what he would do if he had control of the federal government, he suggested sending the IRS to prison, giving money to everybody in America that needs it, and, of course, legalizing marijuana.
Griffiths – for whatever reason – was clearly not a favorite of the audience, though I thought he did a good job. The show took a 6-minute break, during which they projected a re-cut video of Sheen's infamous "20/20" interview. Most of the near-capacity crowd at the 3,700-seat venue took the chance to go buy another round of drinks. When the video was over, Sheen was joined on stage by Comedy Central roastmaster Jeffrey Ross, who was by far the best part of the show.
The audience roared as Ross roasted Sheen over his drug habit and movie career.
Then the show took something of a serious turn when Ross sat down to read a heartfelt letter to Sheen from filmmaker Michael Moore. The "Bowling for Columbine" director applauded Sheen for "refusing to be a phony” and said, "Everybody deserves a moment of redemption."
This "boy" really needs to take a good long look at himself. Come on. Time to grow up and behave like a man.
Linda. I have a violent torpedo in my pants and it needs feeding.
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