How to win a breakup on 'Jersey Shore'
March 4th, 2011
01:55 PM ET

How to win a breakup on 'Jersey Shore'

I think it’s safe to say Sammi is winning her breakup with Ron. How does one win a breakup, you ask? By not following the other party around like a sad puppy dog, for starters.

With the exception of Ron, everyone seemed genuinely excited to welcome Sammi back. Especially Deena, who said she was just “histatic” about it. For those of you who don’t speak “Shore,” “histatic” is when you’re, “like, really happy.” Kind of like ecstatic, but different.

Another way to win a breakup is to have a better manicure and darker fake tan than your ex does.

When Sam tells Ron he looks pale (the ultimate insult on “Jersey Shore”), he says it’s because he thought he saw a ghost when she walked through the door. That's fair.

Sam continues to win when she dons a curve-hugging electric blue mini-dress that night. Flaunt it, girl! Ron tries to compliment her and hold her hand, but she’s not having it.

I was really proud of Sam until she said Ron needs to suffer for a little longer. Does that mean she’s just putting him through the ringer before she eventually takes him back? LAME.

Dear Ron and Sammi: Please don’t pull a robbery on another season of “Jersey Shore.” Should your issues continue in Italy, I swear, I will write you out of my recaps.

Meanwhile, much to Snooki’s dismay, Vinny brought a girl back to the house. Finally acknowledging that her feelings for Vin are more serious than she thought, she spends the entire night crying over him.

In a bout of comic relief, JWoww stops in an alley to take a leak on her way home from the bar. This is the second time JWoww has popped a squat in public. (Her first televised act of public urination took place behind the bar at Karma.)

The next morning, once Snooki has dried her eyes and Deena has dried her… foot (JWoww missed in the alley), the gang decides to go bowling.

Deena - who may or may not have inspired a new “Mario Kart does Jersey Shore” video game with her driving technique - somehow gets everyone (minus Snooks, who stayed home) to the bowling alley safely.

Then Sam, the relationship expert, gives Vinny some advice about how to handle things with Snooki.

Back at the house, Pauly decides it’s time to conquer the upstairs toilet. That is, until he gets a whiff.

“If there’s a plumber in the universe that will face this toilet, they deserve a medal,” Vin says.

Lucky for the housemates, there are two plumbers in the universe who are willing to face their toilet: Rich and Mike.

After finding a pair of underwear, or a T-shirt - or something else really dirty based on the fact that it was bleeped out every time someone said it - in the toilet, the girls assume it belongs to Vin. Interesting considering he was also the first person to try and unclog it. Toilet guilt, Vinny?

Before the rest of the crew gets home from the bar, Team Sober, also known as Ron, Sam and Snooki, decides to pull a prank on The Situation. They take all the cheese in the fridge and put it in his sheets, where he’ll never find it. Gross.

The next morning, Sitch tells everyone about the smelly girl he brought home the night before. She smelled like grated cheese, he said. The only way that conversation would have been more entertaining is if he had identified the cheese smell by specific type. For example: “It smelled like grated parmesan cheese with a hint of cream cheese spread.”

JWoww told him the cheese smell is a sign that his chick had an STD or a yeast infection. She calls a doctor to prove it. Little does he know that the cheese smell can also be a result of evil roommates looking to pull one over on The SNITCHuation.

How does the cheese bed prank compare to the others we’ve seen so far this season? What did you think of last night’s episode?

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Filed under: Jersey Shore • television • TV recaps

soundoff (24 Responses)
  1. 24

    the snitchuation is a punk!!! Trying to pull The Robbery on his own friend's girls... thats f'ddd up..

    March 15, 2011 at 8:48 am | Report abuse |
  2. mrs.luck

    all the guy on there are dirty but cute u would think the gurls would be ladyz and take action on them. and the dirty house imma wife so i dont tollerate such a mess i will break stuff yell at everybody then clean the house spottless then cook a big dinner just to let every one kno i dont take no skit...

    March 12, 2011 at 8:53 am | Report abuse |
  3. D

    The situation I keep hearing is just so nasty...what were they in the house like 3 months? and he NEVER washed his sheets? thats grosser than std's to me...thats probably how he got them...

    March 9, 2011 at 2:26 am | Report abuse |
  4. Jessica

    BTW, they were bleeping out the word because it was a GUINEA-T (aka wife beater)... And I guess they can't say guinea on MTV lol

    March 8, 2011 at 9:03 am | Report abuse |
    • 1000 little julias

      why do they call it a guinea t? i feel like im missing some piece here. also, it didnt sound like they were saying guinea when it was bleeped out, but whatever you say.

      March 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm | Report abuse |
  5. tamera

    the cheese prank was so funny because he thought it was the girl that he brought home. i felt bad for poor snookie she really likes vinny but yet she brings home guys but he cant bring home girls. and on the after hour show mike admitted to not finding the cheese til the end so does it not changed his sheets...

    March 7, 2011 at 12:27 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Beautiful Vixen

    Yes I agree Deena is a dirty pig with Snooki behind. Ron and Sammie are so annoying. I never seen such a p.u.$.$.y whipped man like that. Jeezes from the likes of Sammie and how she is on the show, I'm thinking she just lays there like a dead fish. Its got to be something with her that keeps the big baby wanting her back. God honestly knows she hardly ever seem to leave her bed or want to go out and have fun. Gosh enough of his baby crying with Ron.

    March 5, 2011 at 9:40 pm | Report abuse |
  7. InternetSpy

    These guys might be the next big realityshow:


    March 5, 2011 at 6:22 am | Report abuse |
  8. Sassie

    @D – I like her too, I'm just a troublemaker is all. lol

    March 5, 2011 at 4:16 am | Report abuse |
  9. D

    Sassie, I agree with you on that about Jwow, but for some reason, Jwow I just favor along with Pauly D-they are definately my 2 favorites on that show...

    March 5, 2011 at 12:10 am | Report abuse |
  10. D

    Dang I missed the episode...the cheese prank is HILARIOUS hes going to be so mad when he finds prank yet i want to see what else they'll come up with. I wish either Ron or Sammy will leave-now more Ron since single Sammys back-single Sammy is waaaaayyy better.

    March 5, 2011 at 12:09 am | Report abuse |
  11. sassie

    Yeah, J woww would be the one to be able to identify the smell of a yeast or STD infection.

    March 4, 2011 at 11:55 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Lace

    @jayjay..yea you are right about Deena. She seem to be a dirty little pig. That house is dirty and just plain nasty.

    March 4, 2011 at 10:59 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Gorilla Jamba Juicehead

    Bet You thought I forgot. No...nope. Still remembering, Pepperidge Farms is!

    March 4, 2011 at 5:57 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Jamba Juicehead

    ....and is STILL remembering.

    March 4, 2011 at 5:56 pm | Report abuse |
  15. JambaJuice

    Pepperidge farms STILL remembers!

    March 4, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Report abuse |
  16. jayjay

    Mike isnt Leaving the Show, the next season of them going to italy will be the last and of course he will be on the next season its a free trip plus god only knows how much they will be making per episode that season. As for Ron and Sam i can safely say we are all tired of them fighting, Sam just looks dumb bc halfway thru the show she says "i like talking to ron and spending time with ron because i can tell hes changed" B***H ITS BEEN ABOUT A DAY CHILL THE HECK OUT and both of them need to try and stop giving dating and love advice to the rest of the roommates. Forget the cheese in Mikes bed which is disguising how the hell did they manage to get the toilet clogged with either underwears or a shirt either way how old are these people and they can maintein a house? and letting that toilet just sit there with poop in it for days is so gross! i have to say this season is definitly the dirtest of all the season and angelia isnt there to blame anymore so i have to say it must be Deena because before her none of this gross stuff happened. Clogged toilet and someone still used it again, Nasty Dirty Underwear someone left laying around these people are so Dirty no wonder more then half of them still live at home its cause they obviously cant live on on their own there moms still cleans up after them!

    March 4, 2011 at 4:25 pm | Report abuse |
  17. Pookie

    I farted and then ate it. That is what it feels like to watch this show.

    March 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm | Report abuse |
    • @ Pookie

      Do you cut your farts with a knife or do you just gobble up the whole thing?

      March 4, 2011 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
  18. n9na

    Sick of seeing Ron and Sam's crap...its my guilty pleasure of a show, quite crazy at times, but the cheese bed..priceless, and even better that on the after hours show he admits he doesn't find it until the end of the season. GROSS. @NERD if he is really leaving the show...I won't be to dissapointed, but I see him in the going to Italy pictures.

    March 4, 2011 at 3:19 pm | Report abuse |
  19. Superhiro

    Ron seems like more and more of a d-bag every week.

    March 4, 2011 at 2:11 pm | Report abuse |
  20. NERD

    I sure wish the situation wasnt leaving the show. He is pretty funny. Also seems like a person with a good heart.

    March 4, 2011 at 2:04 pm | Report abuse |
    • @ NERD

      He probably realized if he could get paid tens of thousands per episode to be stupid, he could probably make a lot more being a tad bit smarter.

      March 4, 2011 at 4:36 pm | Report abuse |

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