How to comfort your friend post-breakup, according to The Situation:
1. Rub his head
2. Encourage him to keep crying
3. Tell him to listen to music - preferably something by Michael Bolton
4. Recite every cliché in the book - “Life goes on,” “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be,” etc.
5. Suggest he assume the fetal position
Life must be so stressful for Sitch, what with so many roles to fill. Between Uncle Situation, Doctor Situation, Chef Situation and, everyone’s favorite, Bang Your Girl Situation, how does he do it?
But not even listening to Uncle Sitch (or was this Doctor Sitch?) give relationship advice - which Ronnie likened to a sailor talking about flying a plane - was enough to mend Ron’s broken heart.
I guess it’s true what they say: You never know what you have until you destroy everything the other person owns and they walk out on you it’s gone.
Ronnie - and I speak on behalf of the human race, here - your confusion over why Sam left doesn’t quite help your case.
While Ron pondered the demise of his fairytale relationship, the rest of the gang engaged in a prank war - kidnapping stuffed animals, placing feces under pillows, the usual.
Despite bragging that his brain is bigger than Snooki’s and Deena’s combined, Vinny did not prove victorious in the great prank war of 2011. However, The Situation, or should I say, The Snitchuation, had something to do with it.
Can you blame him? Is there a sadder sight than watching Snooki wander through the house, calling out for her beloved Crocadilly in agony? OK, maybe Mike shouldn’t have snitched. But someone at least should have told the poor girl that stuffed animals don’t typically respond when you call out for them.
After a painful shift at the Shore Store, Ron comes home and orders two-dozen roses in an attempt to win Sammi back. (The cynic in me originally assumed the other dozen were for a random before he explained that Lauren is Sam’s sister.)
In an effort to take Ron’s mind off Sam, the guys take him for a haircut. Though that didn’t work for Ron, Sam was the farthest thing from my mind while listening to The Situation wax on (pun intended) about getting his eyebrows shaped, among his other primping habits.
Later that day, Sammi’s sister called Ron to thank him for her birthday flowers. But when Sam picked up the line, things got a little awkward. Ron proceeded to ignore his ex and tell Lauren “you're welcome” before hanging up the phone.
And then, some comic relief…
A pair of dirty underwear appears, but no one will claim them. Based on the fact that they’re not covered in bronze, they can’t be Snooki’s, Pauly points out. And they’re definitely not Pauly’s because “mines are red,” he deadpans. Alas! They’re Deena’s. (Or maybe not, but we might as well blame everything on the new girl like the rest of the case seems to.)
Later on at Karma, Snooki meets a nice gorilla juicehead named Jionni, or Bernard - whatever. She brings him home and takes him into the smush room to “get it in.”
(Sidenote: Jionni began trending on Twitter before the episode ended Thursday night.)
Meanwhile, Ron and Deena flip burgers on the grill while he contemplates leaving the Shore. Did anyone else think he and Deena were going to... smush?
So what do you think? Will Ron head home next week?
Buy Snitchuation.com ! BID TODAY! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280652869191
i'm still waiting for the show to stop focusing on the two people I hate the most. I prefer the episodes where I laugh at 90% of it. I find myself fast forwarding through the Sam\Ronnie Saga.
Also, I swear all these "reoccuring people" on this board every week are the same person just posting under 8 different names. I mean, that's cool and all but you should find better boards to haunt for entertainment, maximize your audience. Anything about geys always get a billion comments, its a good place to start... also, I'm beginning to see this "Sitch being gey" thing, dood is way to interested in his eyebrows. @_@ Be gey and happy Sitch, man love is awesome.
just look at your name and we know why your pro ho mo..
Ahh my poor LAST brain cell went poof and died. Oh how sad. Oh please that was such a lame comment..lol. It would have been better calling me a c–t but oh wait I was called that many times before so that won't have done nothing also. My dead brain cell and I wish you good night :-) Peace out..
You have to admit these Itali ans are dirty people. all they talk about is taking a dump or the greaseball ronny is going to the proctolgist for his anal bleeding.. u know he got that from that ho mo situation ... I heard they were making out off camera two weeks ago.. did any one hear of STD's.. it is fact situation has the HPV virus. im sure there are some lucky ladys or dudes who can lucky with this creep.. our generation did not except bi se xual.. that was the same as f ag
Rest In Peace brain cell. You were a fighter until the very end. Beautiful Vixen is the only one who won't miss you. :(
I'm glad Sam is gone and they are finally broken up. It was really annoying watching her put blame on everyone else but Ron when he messed around, and constantly following him. I agree with superhiro I liked Sam before they hooked up-she didn't seem...so desperate.
Hey D- Im sick and tired of everyone making fun of me cause im a g ay man.. Well im proud and out of the closet. just like my hero the sitch.
the only reason danny and the rest of you are hating on the situation is because he is making money doing a stupid show. You guys do and say stupid thiings all day and dont get $h%t for it..ha ha. i think danny n bill are gay boys. u should hook up 2gether
These dirty guineas need to crawl back to their garlic gardens.
I Have to agree with u bill. they are greasy and dirty I talians –deeeeego freaks out to weasel some cash while corrupting the youth for thier own gain
Hey T-rex that is funny coming from a guy who's home phone number is 1800 curious.. not wonder your a snituation suppoerter.. u ho mo's like to stick together...
I'm surprised Snookies fupa didn't eat the snitchuation.
this ho mo sitch should start a gay hotline.. I heard there is great money it.. i should know. 1 800 curious
Hated it just hate this show and these people!
No more Sam and Ronnie!! Ron is a thoughtless thug and Sammi is an embarassment to any self respecting woman, she also has the most annoying accent ever!!! The way she pronounced "note" last season as "not" drove me nuts!!!
Seriously, I can't take 3 weeks straight of Ronnie's girly bawling.
Man... I love JS and every week I can't wait for Jersday but something is wrong. The show is best when Pauly D goes nuts and screams things ('Cabs a hea' 'Burgers fo da boys' 'Busted') but this year there is too much focus on the whole Ron and Sam thing. I kinda hope Ronald bounces next week so that the show could go back to being entertaining
It is nice to see a g ay man in america could make the tv. Im sure his lover greasball ronnie is proud
Lol..that's nice to know but when I call someone a troll I really mean a troll..lol. I think of that troll in the fairy tale The Three Billy Goats Gruff. lmao. Have a great weekend also.
Hi Beautiful Vixen. My son said sometimes young folks refer to trolls as griefers. They troll around on the internet trying to stir up nice people like you. We hope you are having an incredibly happy weekend.
I think this show should have a total cast change every season. These people do not know how to clean a house they are filthy. Dirty drawers lying about and all, pew! Snooki is always standing around with that "dayum!" look on her face. I think some fresh faces would liven things up.
Actually I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you a Troll because that only brought me down to your level and because you don't like/watch the show you felt the need to click on the link anyway and call people that watches the show, ummm what's that name you called us? Oh yea, Losers. By you calling us losers doesn't make you any better. You should have skipped pass the blog but no you came on here to voice your hate. Seem you are a loser for doing that. Enjoy your weekend :)
Thank you Troll. Enjoy your night :)
Losers! The show and anyone who claims to watch such a pile of you know what! Come on people do you not have anything better to do with your time?
Some people like to take a mindless break from life for few mins now and then.
Anyone else remember that the only thing New Jersey was know for was Bon Jovi.
go back to them times please.
That's kinda true. I dunno if Sam would've bugged me as much if she and Ron never hooked up in season 1. Ron bugged me right off the bat. Even moreso than Angelina. With Snooki, I think it's because I feel like she's trying to act stupider than she is.
Yea maybe that's what happened to the show. Sam and Ron, I don't know what words to say about those two. Ron is a very angry man and Sam is very clingy and needs to give Ron his space even more so when he gets into his angry stage but she doesn't. Those two are like ticking time bombs and it just might be that their relationship screwed up the show. Snooki, I can't put my finger on what is it that bugs me about her. Everyone else are not like the first show but that's could be because of Ron and Sam's drama. Ron should have kept his word about not falling in love at Jersey Shore. Stupid dumb @$$ had too though..lol. Jeezes he sees piece if a** and he quick to fall in love.
Those were definatly Deena's dirty underwear. She was the only one that actually touched them with her bare hands. Slop-a-potamus is super nasty!!
I dunno, the rest of them don't bug me as much. It's mostly just Ronnie and Sam I have an issue with. And occasionally Snooki.
Ronnie needs to get crazy! Or is he crazy? Which ever the show is awesome!
At this point they should all head home. They are all showing how nasty they are. Dirt house, dirty underwear which I think was Deena's..lol, sleeping with every and anything that can walk. I can't believe I used to like this show.
Crossing my fingers that Ronnie leaves next week.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.
Join 7,767 other followers