February 18th, 2011
04:04 PM ET
How to comfort your friend post-breakup, according to The Situation:
1. Rub his head
Life must be so stressful for Sitch, what with so many roles to fill. Between Uncle Situation, Doctor Situation, Chef Situation and, everyone’s favorite, Bang Your Girl Situation, how does he do it?
But not even listening to Uncle Sitch (or was this Doctor Sitch?) give relationship advice - which Ronnie likened to a sailor talking about flying a plane - was enough to mend Ron’s broken heart.
I guess it’s true what they say: You never know what you have until
Ronnie - and I speak on behalf of the human race, here - your confusion over why Sam left doesn’t quite help your case.
While Ron pondered the demise of his fairytale relationship, the rest of the gang engaged in a prank war - kidnapping stuffed animals, placing feces under pillows, the usual.
Despite bragging that his brain is bigger than Snooki’s and Deena’s combined, Vinny did not prove victorious in the great prank war of 2011. However, The Situation, or should I say, The Snitchuation, had something to do with it.
Can you blame him? Is there a sadder sight than watching Snooki wander through the house, calling out for her beloved Crocadilly in agony? OK, maybe Mike shouldn’t have snitched. But someone at least should have told the poor girl that stuffed animals don’t typically respond when you call out for them.
After a painful shift at the Shore Store, Ron comes home and orders two-dozen roses in an attempt to win Sammi back. (The cynic in me originally assumed the other dozen were for a random before he explained that Lauren is Sam’s sister.)
In an effort to take Ron’s mind off Sam, the guys take him for a haircut. Though that didn’t work for Ron, Sam was the farthest thing from my mind while listening to The Situation wax on (pun intended) about getting his eyebrows shaped, among his other primping habits.
Later that day, Sammi’s sister called Ron to thank him for her birthday flowers. But when Sam picked up the line, things got a little awkward. Ron proceeded to ignore his ex and tell Lauren “you're welcome” before hanging up the phone.
And then, some comic relief…
A pair of dirty underwear appears, but no one will claim them. Based on the fact that they’re not covered in bronze, they can’t be Snooki’s, Pauly points out. And they’re definitely not Pauly’s because “mines are red,” he deadpans. Alas! They’re Deena’s. (Or maybe not, but we might as well blame everything on the new girl like the rest of the case seems to.)
Later on at Karma, Snooki meets a nice gorilla juicehead named Jionni, or Bernard - whatever. She brings him home and takes him into the smush room to “get it in.”
(Sidenote: Jionni began trending on Twitter before the episode ended Thursday night.)
Meanwhile, Ron and Deena flip burgers on the grill while he contemplates leaving the Shore. Did anyone else think he and Deena were going to... smush?
So what do you think? Will Ron head home next week?
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