February 15th, 2011
11:15 AM ET
Last night's edition of "The Bachelor" took us to the Caribbean island of Anguilla, which one of the women described as "just like 'Baywatch.'" I can see the similarities - derivative plots, bathing suits galore and bad acting.
Chris Harrison, failing to make the three-quarter shirt sleeve cool, said there would be three individual dates and one group date this week. In addition, while a rose will be given out on the group outing, none will be handed out on the individual dates.
The first one-on-one date goes to Emily, and she and Brad are dropped off on a deserted island, which Brad called one of the "most romantic dates planned." Maybe if you're Robinson Crusoe or Gilligan.
The two admitted that they get nervous around each other, and Brad asked if she would allow him to see Emily's daughter on next week's hometown date, saying it would be "huge" for him. Emily was uncertain, but Brad didn't seem to care, telling Emily that she would be saved at the rose ceremony. Brad said he didn't mind breaking a few show rules in telling Emily, confirming speculation that there are actual rules to this show.
The second individual date went to Shawntel, and she and Brad took in the local culture of Anguilla. They jumped rope, played dominoes and imbibed out of a giant piece of fruit. This looked like a date that parents plan for pre-teens.
Shawntel asked Brad to come to California to see her family, increasing the potential for comedy gold if she shows him the family funeral business. The two are then entertained by the music of Bankie Banx, who Brad called "the most famous musician in Anguilla, if not the entire Caribbean." The entire Marley family might dispute that latter comment.
Britt received the third individual date, and she and Brad went cliff diving on an island that Brad noted the two would have all to themselves. Didn't he give that same line to Emily?
This is Britt's first individual date with Brad and it didn't go so well, with Brad complaining that he had no urge to kiss her on "the most romantic place on Earth." Hold on a sec, Brad. You just had the "most romantic date planned" with Emily, and now you're trying to one-up yourself? Make up your mind on which place is the most romantic, Mr. Womack.
In the end, Britt is sent home after Brad determined that there was no romantic spark between them.
Ashley, Chantal and noted group date hater Michelle are on this week's group date, which involves participating in a "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue photo shoot. Ashley and Chantal figure the shoot is a good time to take their tops off, while Michelle responds by getting on top of Brad and smooching him.
Ashley and Chantal are upset with Michelle's antics, and tensions continue to rise at the post-shoot pool party (again with the pool party). Brad realizes that he should not have allowed Michelle to do what she did, and felt like he took "two steps back." So let me get this straight - prancing around topless before random people was fine, but Michelle kissing Brad in front of the same people was not. My head hurts. When all was said and done, Brad gave Ashley the rose.
There was no cocktail party this week, as Brad told Chris Harrison that he knew who to get rid of. That woman was our resident cartoon villain, Michelle. My wife declared her elimination the best Valentine's Day gift ever.
Michelle didn't say much as Brad took her to the limo of shame. She also didn't say anything inside the limo, choosing instead to lie down, possibly take a nap and contemplate a future on daytime soap operas. The limo driver must have appreciated the peace and quiet.
Next week, it's the hometown dates.
What did you think of last week's "Bachelor" episode?
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