February 8th, 2011
12:52 PM ET
Last night's episode of "The Bachelor" began with Brad and the eight remaining women arriving in Costa Rica for a week of fun and adventure, though I'm pretty sure at least half of them couldn't find Costa Rica on a map.
Brad gives the ladies a tour of the hotel they are all staying at, and he's looking quite sweaty. Guess he remembered his passport, but not the deodorant.
Chantal is the recipient of the first individual date, and the show's resident cartoon villain, Michelle, is not happy about it, wishing that Chantal gets attacked by monkeys and apes during her date. (Well, Tortuguero National Park in Costa Rica is home to several species of monkeys...)
Brad and Chantal head to a zip line for their date, and they're very excited. So much so, that they talk about their excitement a few dozen times while they're together. Perhaps once they finish their zip lining, they'll win a thesaurus to learn words synonymous with "excited."
Heavy rain forces Chantal and plaid-clad Brad to his hotel room for dinner, where Chantal apparently looks "amazing" in one of Brad's dress shirts. Not sure if that's a compliment, but Chantal gets a rose nonetheless.
Then it was group date time and Michelle, whose slogan is "I hate group dates," tells us that she hates being on group dates. Brad takes Michelle and five others to the top of a waterfall, where they would rappel 600 feet to the bottom. Michelle, as usual, is not amused by this, as she rappelled down a building with Brad a few weeks back, and Brad promised there would be no more rappelling unless the two go together.
But wait just one second! Brad tells Michelle that he's not breaking any promise, and pledges to rappel down the waterfall with Michelle. Michelle is happy, while the other women are confused.
After the waterfall, Brad and the women head to the "natural hot springs" of Costa Rica for an after party (again with the pools). Brad says he would spend the time trying to make everyone happy, but nothing seems to work, so he doesn't hand out any roses.
Alli is the recipient of the second individual date, and Brad pledges to take her to the "most romantic place on Earth." Apparently that place is an ancient cave filled with bats, spiders and various other creatures you'd find in Halloween TV specials. Perhaps Brad's dream date is Indiana Jones?
Brad tells Alli that he's looking for a "natural connection" with the woman he picks to be his wife, and he doesn't have that with her, so Alli heads home.
Brad says he needs some downtime in his hotel room after what's transpired, but that's not going to happen as Michelle drops by, telling him that she agrees with Alli's elimination but disagrees with Chantal getting a rose. She then proposes the next six eliminations, leaving her as the sole survivor and possibly running the show afoul of the FCC. Brad thinks Michelle's ideas are intriguing, but doesn't wish to subscribe to her newsletter, so she departs.
At the cocktail party, Brad and Michelle clash over what happened at the hotel room, with Brad saying that their relationship went "10 steps back." So this must mean Michelle is getting the boot, right?
Wrong. Remembering that the ratings come first, Brad says farewell to Jackie, whose only contribution this week was possibly soiling herself while rappelling down the waterfall.
Next week, Brad and the six remaining women head to the Caribbean island of Anguilla. In the interim, they may compete to be the first to find Anguilla on a map. I give them at least a week to succeed.
What did you think of last night's "Bachelor" episode?
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