February 4th, 2011
12:13 PM ET
A slave to my DVR, I’m always fast-forwarding through commercials. Last night, however - as I watched my favorite juiceheads in real time - ads featuring the MTV stars held my attention.
A pistachio commercial starring Snooki, who apparently cracks open her favorite low-cal nuts using a tanning bed, followed Ronnie’s ad for Xenadrine, an ultra-strength weight loss pill. “The City’s” Whitney Port also made an appearance with her Neutrogena spot. There’s no escaping MTV at this point.
(What products do you think the rest of the cast should front? Tell us in the comments below!) But first...
The episode picked-up just as the crew’s night began to wind down. Upon arriving home, Ronnie proceeded to vomit into what looked like a Lululemon shopping bag. (The good news: That bag is durable enough to constrain Ron’s mess. The bad news: I’m 83 percent sure I saw a pair of yoga pants in there. Sorry, Sam.) I have to say, I was not too thrilled about the graphic nature of that scene. Of course, that was pretty much the theme of last night’s episode, which also took us to the doctor's office with Ron.
“Nobody likes the snap of rubber gloves,” the doc said to Ron as he winced in pain.
While Ron was getting to know his new physician, Snooki was waking up in the dog run with JWoww’s puppies. I’m assuming this is not the worst place she’s ever passed out.
That night at Karma, Deena found herself lusting after one of Ronnie’s friends. But only to cuddle, she said.
“It’s not Halloween. I’m not handing candy out for free. You need a golden ticket to get into these drawers,” she told the camera.
Five minutes later…
“Whatever, my golden ticket was taken.”
Snooki also had a houseguest that evening. The pair hit it off so well, they skipped the awkward morning after bit and opted to head to the boardwalk instead, walk of shame style.
Everything seemed to be going great. Snooki learned about Jeff’s tongue ring (which she somehow failed to notice the night before) and told him why she doesn’t swim in the ocean - all the whale sperm makes the water too salty. But for Snooki, baggage from having an engagement/promise ring is a non-negotiable, and she was ready to move on to the next.
Jeff, however, wasn’t. After he called the house a few times, Pauly D decided to put the poor sap out of his misery. Speaking in his best monotone voice, Pauly pretended to be the “Jersey Shore” house’s answering machine. And get this - Jeff fell for it!
He began leaving his best apology voicemail for Snooks when… “Press one for JWoww. Press two for Snooki...”
Naturally, Jeff pressed two. After messing with him a little while longer, Pauly finally told him off. Send roses to the house. Send pickles. No - fried pickles! (Of course, he had to shout into the receiver.)
That night at the club, Pauly D ran into an old friend. It was Danielle, the stalker from season one who threw a drink in Pauly’s face earlier this season. With his eyes open and his guard up, he asked her back to the house in the spirit of not holding grudges. However, the rest of the cast wasn't so willing to forgive and forget.
Vin yelled “Stalker!” at Danielle when he saw her in the house. “What are you doing here?” he asked with a straight face.
Despite donning the iconic T-shirt Danielle made for him during season one, Pauly eventually walked her out. Why she didn’t get up and leave after Vinny’s stork joke is beyond me.
And, true to form, Ron and Sam were bickering with each other once again. Like we didn’t see that one coming. Can someone please explain what the word “done” means to the two of them?! It’s getting exhausting.
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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