September 17th, 2010
02:30 PM ET
We're going to start this recap with a little bad news: A repeat of “Jersey Shore” aired last night. But the good news is that it’s not too late to reminisce about the madness that was Sunday night’s (pre-Video Music Awards) episode.
Unfortunately, Vinny and Angelina didn’t have the awkward morning after I was hoping for. No quietly sneaking out of bed, trying desperately not to wake the other person. No "where am I," or "what happened last night?"
The universe did throw us a bone with a brief phone conversation between Angelina and Vinny’s mother, but even that scenario had the potential to be way more amusing than it was.
When Vinny’s mother finally made it to the house, she opened her suitcase to reveal stuffed peppers, chocolate cake and countless other goodies rarely associated with luggage. But that’s not all: She also brought Uncle Nino, known to some as an “original guido.”
While Vinny was busy gushing about his mother - “They don’t make women like my mother anymore,” he informed us - The Situation was busy berating Angelina for being a terrible human being.
Despite The Situation’s questionable morals, he seemed to feel very strongly about not hooking up with your roommate after accepting a Fossil watch from another suitor. Or could these newfound scruples just be a result of his undying hatred for Angelina? Hmm…
Back to Vinny’s guests… Pauly D described the madness in the house best when he said it was “a lot of people yelling and talking with their hands.”
After a multiple course meal prepared by Vinny’s mother, Uncle Nino, Jwoww and the rest of the roommates got in the hot tub.
“My Uncle Nino doesn’t really have the highest standards in the world, so these girls are looking like supermodels to him,” Vinny said.
After a quick dip, Vin’s family left and the roommates headed to the club.
Pauly and Mike each picked up girls. However, Sitch's style – which Pauly described as “super obnoxiously aggressive” – didn't work in his favor this time. His catch of the night ended up telling him she has a boyfriend and leaving. No worries - The Situation always has a backup plan/girl.
At 6 a.m., Pauly and Mike made calls until they found a girl willing to come over. Mike asked her to bring a friend for him – “no grenades.” When she arrived alone, she simply said, “All my friends are grenades.” Hilarious. So, Mike made himself an egg sandwich and enjoyed the show from his bed.
The next day at the club, Mike threatened to tell Jose about Vinny and Angelina, “the Staten Island ferry - everybody gets a ride and it’s free.”
In order to beat him to the punch, Ang told Jose that she and Vinny hooked up the other day. Lucky for her, Jose interpreted that as "they kissed" and almost immediately forgave her. If he hadn't already gotten the real story, he surely watched it go down on TV this week. Sorry, bud.
Vinny, meanwhile, met a...dancer that night at the strip club named Ramona. Vinny said Ramona is everything he looks for in a girl.
“I finally found a girl I might be able to introduce to my family one day,” he added.
I’m just wondering what it is about Ramona that makes Vinny think his over-protective Italian mother might approve of her. I’m thinking it’s not her day job.
At the same time, Pauly is falling for a beautiful Cuban girl who he actually wants to get to know – so much so that he doesn’t invite her back to the house. (Gasp!)
The next day, the boys ask their respective girls out to dinner. Vinny, who has no game, stuttered and mumbled until Ramona finally said yes out of pity, while Pauly D had no trouble securing a date.
The boys went out to get their hair done, buy flowers and get some new clothes. But when poor Vinny returned home, Ramona called to cancel. He slammed the phone down and stormed outside.
Vinny wasn't going down without a fight, however, or at least one more pathetic phone call asking his dream girl to “please, please, please, please” go out with him. She agreed only to stand him up later that night.
Pauly D and his date went out, as did Angelina, Jose, Ronnie and Sammi. Vinny sat at home alone looking depressed and The Situation… where did he go?
What did you think of Sunday night’s episode?
About this blog
Our daily cheat-sheet for breaking celebrity news, Hollywood buzz and your pop-culture obsessions.