September 10th, 2010
02:21 PM ET
Unfortunately, there wasn't a clear winner of the Sammi-Jwoww fight we’d been dying to watch since last week’s episode. Other than Ronnie, of course, who has successfully managed to have his cake and eat it too.
Jwoww and Sammi definitely gave us a good show though - like “firecrackers in a dumpster,” as Ron put it.
And, despite an almost-fight between Ronnie and Vinny… and then Ronnie and Snooki… and then Ronnie and Jwoww (when she threw what looked like a serving platter at his head), the guy who started it all made it out free and clear.
“Sammi didn’t want to believe Ron was a [expletive],” The Situation said. “Just like when you’re little and you want to believe Santa Clause is alive, but Santa Claus is dead.”
After the fight, Sammi couldn’t stop smiling. “This is probably the best accomplishment that I’ve had in a long time,” she said. What she really meant: I can’t believe Jwoww didn’t kill me.
As Pauly D took us through the kitchen the next morning, we saw hair extensions, fingernails and a half-eaten tuna sandwich on the floor.
Speaking of fingernails… In order to escape what would have been the most entertaining segment of last night’s episode – Jwoww, Ronnie and Sammi in the gelato shop - Jwoww called her boss Enzo to ask for the day off. And by ask, I mean she told him she couldn’t make it to work because she had to get her nails fixed. Legit.
Later that day, during Mike, Vinny and Angelina’s shift, Jose stopped by to give Angelina a present: A Fossil watch. Though Angelina wasn't quite ready to give it up to her Miami fling, Pauly D said it’s only fair that she let Jose “hit that.”
That night, Ronnie and Sammi went to dinner, just the two of them. Ron credited their issues with bringing them closer together, even though it's what tore them apart at first. It's a sentiment even The Situation echoed later on in the episode. How precious.
At the beach the next day, Snooki and Jwoww talked about the fact that Snooki isn’t white. She’s “other” - also known as tan. The self-proclaimed guidette said she actually wrote that on a job application one time, though she didn’t get the job. It was for a tanning salon.
Back at the house, Angelina and Vinny went at it. He called her the “Rob Kardashian of Staten Island,” which really set her off. (The hilarity of this conversation will make complete sense momentarily.)
The roommates headed out that night, and Snooki proceeded to find herself a cute DJ. They danced “like Spanish people,” which from an outsider’s perspective looked absolutely nothing like a Latin dance, but then again, I wasn’t there.
Despite his foreign moves, Snooki decided to bring him home. Thankfully, Jwoww, who spent the night one bed over from the happy couple, offered a play-by-play, although we sadly can't repeat it on this family-friendly blog.
Snooki had so much fun that she invited Dennis the DJ back the next night. After she and Jwoww disinfected the Smush Room, Snooki slathered on lotion and sprayed perfume… everywhere.
Long story short: Dennis’s friend Marco ended up being a grenade; Jwoww made a face at him and he left; then Snooki and Dennis made a beeline for the Smush Room.
Now, back to Vinny and Angelina hating each other...oh, excuse me, I mean making out in the back of a cab. In Pauly D’s words: “Angelina thinks like a guy, so she wants to get laid. Vinny is a guy, so he wants to get laid.”
Before completely turning the other cheek, Pauly made one more attempt at getting Vinny to realize what he’s doing: “Angelina is wide, bro … can we stop so Vinny can buy a Fossil watch?”
The good news? We don’t have to wait until next week to witness the beauty of Angelina and Vinny: The morning-after. Don’t forget to tune in to MTV Sunday night for a new episode of “Jersey Shore” at 7 p.m. ET before the Video Music Awards.
But first, what did you think of last night’s episode?
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