August 20th, 2010
02:15 PM ET
I wish Ronnie and Sammi could just make it work. Not because I particularly care about their happiness, or because I think they’re good for one another. I’d just prefer that they stop hogging the precious 40 to 42 minutes I get to spend with the cast each week.
As usual, last night’s episode started up where the last one left off. Ronnie, MVP and Angelina were at the club, while Sammi, Snooki and JWoww waited up at home.
Snooki decided to call her boyfriend Emilio. Somehow, this conversation was even more entertaining than their last – when Snooki hung up on him mid-sentence err, hiccup, to go spoon with Vinny.
He answered: “There’s half-naked girls everywhere. Whatever, bye.”
But rather than sulking, Snooki, the mature woman that she is, dealt with the situation in a more refined manner – by smashing dishes and enlightening viewers by saying that guys don’t know how to deal with women. "I feel that’s why the lesbian rate is going up in this country,” she added.
Then, rather than letting Snooki have her moment, Sammi asks the girls if they think Ronnie is cheating on her. Umm… YES! Though they deny having any knowledge of Ron’s escapades, Snooki offers what might be the most down-to-earth piece of advice ever uttered by an MTV reality star: “If he wanted to stay with you and snuggle, he would have. But he didn’t.”
When Angelina and the boys get home they see broken dishes outside. Ron – always the perceptive drunk – thinks they may be the result of Sammi’s anger toward him. He makes a bee line for his bed and hits the sheets.
Sammi then tells Ronnie she was testing him when she said he could go out earlier that night. Ronnie’s response: “I don’t like tests. That’s why I didn’t go to college.” Are we all in agreement that this episode was absolutely brimming with quotable one-liners?
Though it was just a small part of the episode, the scene where the guys were cooking/dropping dinner was pretty hilarious.
After they eat, the gang gathers in the living room to play a 20 questions-like game. Of course, they had to put their own “Jersey Shore” spin on it, which is why the girls changed into their sexy lingerie beforehand.
After noticing that Angelina’s getup could easily pass for a garbage bag – aka her luggage from season one – Vinny let out another gem: “I think Victoria should have kept this one a secret,” he said.
A little later, the crew heads to the club. By this point in the episode, Ronnie and Sammi have already broken up about 10 different times, and Sammi has said she’s “done” with Ronnie about 27 different times.
When they got home, Sammi put a pot from the kitchen beside Ronnie’s bed in case he needed to throw up. Gross.
The second funniest part of the episode – after hearing Snooki’s slimy ex confess to cheating on her in the same nonchalant way you might tell someone you were running late to meet them for coffee – was when Vinny and Pauly D were spitting game in the gelato shop.
“He spoons, I fork,” Pauly D said.
The episode ends after Snooki and JWoww pen a grammatically incorrect, anonymous account of Ronnie’s bad behavior. I can’t wait for Sammi to read this.
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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