August 16th, 2010
01:05 PM ET
Editor’s Note: This post contains spoilers for the Sunday, August 15 episode of HBO’s “True Blood.”
Breaking news! Everyone on this show is a total train wreck, but you already knew that, didn’t you? Let’s get to it.
Eric and Pam were thwarted in their attempt to flee Shreveport when Eric was taken into custody and questioned about the Magister’s disappearance. He told his tale of woe to resident ball buster Nan Flanagan and the Authority – a mysterious panel of unseen vamps present via webcam.
I spent the majority of this scene trying to figure out if Pam was wearing fuchsia Uggs. Anyhow, the gist of Eric’s testimony was this: Russell’s terrible.
The Authority later granted Eric permission to do away with Russell, but to do so quietly as to avoid raising any ire toward the pending ratification of the Vampire Rights Amendment. Game on, ladies and gents!
Russell, meanwhile, took to flying about with Talbot’s gooey remains in a crystal trifle bowl vowing to seek revenge for his beloved’s demise. Did you swoon? Because I did. What a romantic, that Russell.
In Bon Temps, Sookie rehashed her trust issues with Bill for the gazillionth time. Bill claimed that all of the questionable things he’d done were to protect Sookie and Sookie countered by telling him she was perfectly capable of protecting herself, thank you very much. (Yawn. We get it, Sookie. You’re an independent woman.)
Moving on - Sookie later received a frantic phone call from Hadley, who summoned Sookie to confess that she told Queen Sophie-Anne all about Sookie’s telepathic abilities and that her actions were to blame for Russell’s unwanted attention. We also found out that Hadley’s little boy was a telepath, much to her horror. Hadley fled with the child once her suspicions were confirmed and refused to tell Sookie where she was headed.
It also seems, much to my great dismay, that the corny alternate universe from Sookie’s near-death experience a while back was not a one-time affair. Bill visited the bizarro Bon Temps cemetery in something akin to a dream (since when can vampires dream?) and encountered Claudine. We were led to assume she told Bill the truth about Sookie. Whatever. Between the gauzy costumes and Vaseline-smeared “look” of these scenes, my eye-rolling muscles were working overtime.
If there’s one advantage to the influx of new characters this season, it’s that we’re seeing less of Sookie. Sorry Sookie enthusiasts, but she has been tap-dancing on my last nerve since the middle of season two. Call me when she uses her telepathic gifts to save a basket of kittens from an oncoming freight train and maybe then I’ll reconsider my stance.
I’m over the big mystery surrounding Sookie, and the Norris Clan too, for that matter. I’ve grown weary of the stilted conversations and excruciating exchange of pained glances. If I wanted that I’d watch reruns of “The Hills.” Get on with it already!
In “Couples We Don’t See Enough Of” news, Hoyt confessed to Jessica that he hates his new girlfriend Summer. (Ugh; he’s not the only one.) Why can’t those two just work it out? I sure hope their inevitable reconciliation doesn’t happen until the finale because I love them together and can’t get enough of their “twoo wuv.”
The only two characters who didn’t appear to be wrapped up in some terrible personal dramz were Lafayette and Jesus, who continued to marinate in the glow of their rekindled romance.
Along with the terrific Alfre Woodard guest starring as Lafayette’s mother Ruby Jean, these three have been woefully underused this season. I’m crossing my fingers that whatever happens to them during the remainder of the season is a setup for a bigger piece of the plotline pie in season four.
As usual, the best was saved for last. A fragile Tara, who took steps towards healing by attending a rape survivor’s support group earlier in the episode, became even more frazzled when her presumed-dead tormentor Franklin (!!!) made a brief but still totally creepy appearance.
Unfortunately for those of us on Team Franklin, he met his end after being staked in a most-nontraditional fashion thanks to Jason. So, to those of you who theorized that we’d not yet seen the end of Franklin, congratulations! Each one of you gets a virtual gold star.
Finally, Russell validated Eric’s earlier charges against him when he outed himself as a total wackadoo during a televised takeover of news network TBBN.
His inspired, bloody rant against the human race was perfectly timed, as it interrupted pro-human Nan, who was waist-deep in the company of a comely young woman. So much for that "True Blood only" nonsense, eh Nan?
Just when I think this show has lost me, I get sucked right back in with a spine-tingling final few minutes.
What did you think of last night’s episode?
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