July 26th, 2010
02:12 PM ET
Editor’s Note: This post contains spoilers for the Sunday, July 25 episode of HBO’s “True Blood.”
Remember the days of season three, when we lay awake at night wondering if anything was ever going to happen on our beloved hot mess of a show? Well, Jackson was definitely where the action was last night.
After Bill and Sookie were ambushed at Alcide’s, they were brought back to Russell’s place, where Lorena and Eric appeared from various nooks and crannies in the house.
Russell was displeased that Bill sought out Sookie to tell her to flee the city, but before he could go into further detail, Bill staked one of the vampire guards! And then he tried to stake Russell! Bill failed, of course, and Russell banished him to the old slave quarters on the property and instructed Lorena to kill him.
Eric was tasked with detaining Sookie while Russell mended things with Talbot, who marched off in a huff at Russell’s indifference toward the bloody pile of vampire remains in their foyer. Can you blame him, really? I’m willing to bet it’s near impossible to get guts out of marble.
When Russell returned, he and Sookie played twenty questions. Sookie told Russell about her telepathic abilities, but confessed that she didn’t know how she’s able to become a human stun gun. She begged Russell to spare Bill, and he in turn showed her the surveillance file that was found at Bill’s house. Oh snap!
Russell then left with Eric to see Queen Sophie-Anne in New Orleans. Upon arrival, the King proposed marriage, saying that she stood to benefit because he would erase her mounting debt. If she refused, she would surely be busted for selling vampire blood and would thus face the wrath of the American Vampire League.
Eric got his two cents in by calling Sophie-Anne out for framing him for the blood sales and formally renounced his allegiance to her, claiming loyalty to Russell.
Meanwhile, in the old slave quarters - and in what I thought were some of this episode’s most powerful scenes - Lorena went about torturing Bill, making full use of the obligatory Table Full O’ Torture Tools found in your finer dungeons and/or horror films. Their exchanges were nothing short of heartbreaking, and I have a feeling that we’ll find out more about Lorena’s past in future episodes.
Coot and Debbie then barged in, strung out and itching for a fix. Lorena permitted them to feed on Bill and skulked off to weep blood all over her drool-worthy outfit.
Let's turn to Lafayette and Jesus, who continued to get to know one another as their marathon first date wound down. Their good time is short-lived when old Felton Norris and a couple of other n’er do wells from Hotshot show up at Lafayette’s place looking for trouble. Lafayette fought them off with Jesus’ help, but not before outing himself as a drug dealer. This didn’t sit well with Jesus, who declared the date over.
Down by the lake, Jason and the guarded, mysterious Crystal got in some quality canoodling. He was left puzzled by her strange behavior as she caught a whiff of something and fled into the night.
In a later attempt to woo Crystal, Jason showed up at her home in Hotshot, flowers in hand. Felton answered, bearing the scars from the previous night’s rumble with Lafayette. He called Crystal to the door and she denied knowing Jason. To rub salt in the wound, she also referred to Felton as her fiancé. Jason left, dejected, but it seemed to me that he knew something was fishy.
Over at Sam’s, Tommy thanked him for letting him stay the night. Sam pressed him for answers on what was going on between him and Joe Lee. Tommy agreed to tell him, but only when he’s ready.
Melinda showed up and asked for a moment alone with Tommy. Those dog-fighting rumors we’ve all been buzzing about appear to be true: Joe Lee has been lining his pockets with the winnings from Melinda and Tommy’s participation in illegal dog fighting matches. Tommy is now the family breadwinner and Melinda warned him against deserting her and Joe Lee.
Sam put two and two together later in the episode when Arlene told him she saw Joe Lee and Melinda leaving their home that morning with a pit bull (who we know to be Tommy) in tow, sending Sam on a search for his brother.
Surely you haven’t forgotten about the impending nuptials between our resident nutcake Franklin and Poor Tara (copyright, me). As creepy and delightful as ever, Franklin revealed to Tara that Sookie was on the property.
Upon hearing this news, Tara acted upon the exit strategy she has no doubt had time to plan, what with having spent much of this season in varying stages of restraint. She seduced Franklin into untying her before they made love, but not before she took a considerable chunk out of his neck.
Knowing she’s somewhere in the house, Tara beamed a message to Sookie, telling her that she’s going to bust them out, “Thelma & Louise” style.
At sunup, Tara executed step one of “Operation Get Me The Hell Out of Here.” My mind blown by the wall of medieval weapons in an otherwise tastefully decorated bedroom, and when Tara killed Franklin with that carefully-selected mace. Poor Tara no more!
She then found Sookie and together they overpowered Sookie’s werewolf guard and made a break for it. As Tara sprinted across the lawn in search of a way out, she ran into another werewolf. But it was Alcide! He told Tara he was one of the good guys there to find Sookie.
Sookie, meanwhile, made it to the slave quarters just as Debbie and Coot rush out, high on Bill’s blood. They ran away oblivious as Sookie entered and found Bill near death. Their reunion was brief as Lorena appeared and acted on a multi-season grudge, her fangs sunk deep into Sookie’s neck.
I loved this episode and didn’t catch my breath until the credits rolled. What did you think?
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