Below is a transcript of "The Tonight Show" opening monologue from January 19th:
Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien, and I’m just three days away from the biggest drinking binge in history.
Yesterday there were rallies for me in cities across the country, including Chicago. You can tell things are bad when even Cubs fans feel sorry for you.
It’s been a busy day for me today. I spent the afternoon at Universal Studios’ amusement park, enjoying their brand-new ride, the “Tunnel of Litigation.”
Some papers are reporting that I’m legally prohibited from saying anything bad about NBC. For example – I am NOT allowed to say things like: “NBC is headed downhill faster than a fat guy chasing a runaway cheese-wheel.” FULL POST
The soulful and evocative John Mayer sat down for an interesting interview with Rolling Stone magazine, spilling the beans about nearly everything you’ve never even knew you wanted to know.
John Mayer wants a girlfriend – like, a real life-partner one, he told Rolling Stone. The problem is, when he meets a girl, they’re all, “But you’re John Mayer!” Which means he’s stuck with girls he’s already been with. Poor John.
Ladies, if you’re not overcome by his John Mayer-ness and think you’d be a good match, here’s what he’s looking for: FULL POST
Below is a transcript of "The Jay Leno Show" opening monologue from January 19th:
Thank you for coming out on such a cold, rainy day. To me this is the perfect infomercial kind of day - you dry off with a Sham Wow, wrap yourself in a Snuggie with your wife, and see if those Extenze pills really work.
There were so many rain clouds today I couldn't see the dark cloud hanging over NBC.
It was so wet Gilbert Arenas pulled a water pistol on his teammates. That's how wet.
It was so wet, for the first time ever, Senator John Edwards put on rubbers. That's the first time that has ever happened. FULL POST
"I definitely want to have a child, but I know from my nephew it's a lot. I hope that those things will just happen naturally. I still haven't had time to relax," she said in an upcoming interview in Allure magazine.
But don't expect her to be running to the press with her baby news. Beyonce says protecting her private life and her marriage is paramount. FULL POST
The Canadian actress best known for her role on the HBO series “Entourage” came in first place in the annual list of the “Top 99 Most Desirable Women.”
The poll, conduced for the past 10 years by the site AskMen.com, had six million men weighing in over a six-week period as to what female celebs they felt met the criteria.
This year’s top ten included Marisa Miller who ranked second, Jessica Alba (5), Beyonce (6) and Miranda Kerr (10). Last year’s first place finisher, Eva Mendes, placed ninth this year. FULL POST
Simon Cowell and Sony Music agreed to a five-year joint venture Tuesday in which they will share the assets of Syco, the London-based entertainment company established by Cowell in 2002 and previously owned entirely by Sony.
"I have had a fantastic relationship with Sony for many years and I'm delighted we are launching this venture together," Cowell said in a statement.
Syco's television and music holdings, which include "The X Factor" and "Got Talent" global TV franchises as well as recording artists Il Divo, Leona Lewis and Susan Boylem, will now be co-owned by Sony Music and Cowell.
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