On "Showbiz Tonight" you may have seen the regular segment where a celebrity talks about how he or she makes a marriage work. It's a question we put to some big names, when we get the chance.
I've discovered a trend has emerged that the men will all give a version of the same answer. For example, I spoke with Matt Damon last night at the premiere for "The Informant" and toward the end of the interview I put the question to him. He said that the key for him was he picked the right woman, but then he added that men need to "listen, and practice these three words, 'you're right honey'." It's not a surprising answer, Marc Anthony told me roughly the same thing once. (If you were wondering it did come a couple of minutes after Jennifer Lopez had left the room).
Thinking that maybe I just hit a couple of guys with the question and happened to get a similar answer I chatted with Jen Gerardo, the producer who regularly works on this segment. She told me that married celebrity women who get the question tend to come up with a more thoughtful answer, while the men tend to go for the cheap laugh with a "yes Dear" answer. I get it. But, I'm not sure what it says about married men overall, that we instinctively understand that we can get a laugh by going with the cliche (disclaimer time here - I just got married this summer and I've already made the joke among friends more a few times).
So, when you hear the most famous and successful men in the world say the secret to a good marriage is "yes dear", do you buy it? Or, is there a better answer for this question?
Watch Firepoof !! It's the key to any marriage. Well, I'd like to hope so
Perhaps it just means that marriage is a little too complicated to be explained in a 10 second sound bite so they go for the simple answer that they know will get an obligatory chuckle.
j, Slater, Tony, Emily, thursday – RIGHT ON
Especially Slater and Tony since they are having to go against the stereotype of men presented – thanks for clearing things up!
your comment "boys will be boys" is just plain wrong. ...it's just wrong. The sterotyping..the perpetuation of sexism is already so alive in the media....be a change maker...could you chose a better title for your blog?...come on NOW you're a writer....
That is just a go to answer, being nice to one another and having fun even through the tough times is how we do it at our house married 13 years and together 16 so far really good...plus fore play that asts at all day long, with phone calls, texting naughty pictures, etc...keep it fun!
Regarding Mauricio's comment.... Where are you going to find your women? Get out of the gutter and find a wonderful woman like it did. And, did you ever think YOU might have something to do with only finding "impossible to instill common sense in women", might want to look in the mirror?
i agree with SLater.....anyways, women are usually irrational and impossible to deal with so yes. "Yes dear" is key if u want to stay married because its usually impossible to instill common sense in women.
Just because your marriage has not ended in divorce yet, doesn't mean it's a healthy one.
I agree with J. All relationships, not just marriages, should be based on the truth, not empty statements of placation. That is how resentment begins. Simmers then boils over.
My girlfriend knows that if I apologize or admit she is correct, then I sincerely mean it. It would be insulting to her for me to do otherwise. It takes courage to stand up for what you believe, and communication skills to find common ground in a disagreement.
If your mate demands compliance, then they are controlling you. That says alot about them, but it also says just as much about you.
No wonder so many children don't know what a healthy relationship is.
as a single woman, i find it disappointing that the stereotype of a married couple is a man who can never get things right always apologizing to a woman who is basically a control freak.
if you guys are immature and selfish – time to bring your A game. and you women knock it off – you are partners, not rulers.
Asking celebrities about the secrets of successful marriage is like asking the homeless about interior decor. How would they know? Given the marital statistics of this population, there must be many better ways to make use of the time than entertaining their opinions on the subject.
Of course, there are exceptions, most notably Patrick Swayze and his wife Lisa Niemi. One marriage for 33 years. Wow.
From what married men say, it seems women are self-centered, inflexible, and emotionally fragile. Of course, the same could be easily said of men. At any rate it makes me more relieved every day to be single (and not into women).
Having been married 11 years I will agree that "yes dear" and "you're right" are the keys to the marriage. Even when we are right, we're wrong. We (men) are not smart enough to do it in a humble fashion. Those that quickly fix this and try to prevent it from happening in the future...stay married. Those that choose not to follow the advice will surely find themselves divorced.
I think in saying that the key is "you're right, honey," these celebrities are saying, in a rather glib way, something important. In essence, what they're saying is, "let it go." A lot of stuff just isn't worth fighting over, and if more people–male or female–were more relaxed in their relationships, they'd probably be happier.
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